I was never planning on writing a post like this. I like having my own little positive space on the internet where things are happy, positive and supportive. However, I also want my blog to be an online extension of myself, which is a real person. And as a real person, there is always going to be some negativity.
I just want to start this post by saying this: I know I'm not the biggest, most influential blogger in the world. My YouTube channel has a very small number of subscribers, and that's okay. I didn't ever start this to become a household name, get freebies or have this as my job. I started this because I love writing, I love beauty and I loved the community. I definitely didn't start this to get insulted. And the same goes for everyone else in the community.
I have seen a lot of hate going on at the moment, and I do wonder where the support went, it's such a different environment to when I start five years ago. That doesn't mean to say I've never had negative comments before. However, the one I had recently really shocked me and it pushed me to write this post.
What shocked me more than anything was probably my own reaction. Yes, it upset me of course it did - if anyone got told they'd probably kill someone because they're ugly it would upset them. But my first thought was "oh well, this is what happens online". How is that a normal reaction in everyday life now? When did it become okay to write something so personal about someone you don't even know? When did it become okay for people to just attack others?
When I was at school there were harsh things said, I wasn't the popular of girls and there were comments and incidents that were hurtful and damaging. For example, my boyfriend when I was 13 was healing from a broken arm, when it got rebroken by guys in the changing room telling him his girlfriend "had more facial hair then hitler". Unsurprisingly he broke up with me after that, didn't really blame him. Those types of comments over and over again break your confidence, especially when you're young. However, that was school - and I never thought I'd have to deal with comments like the above when I was in my late twenties.
Thankfully, I've heard enough and learnt enough to not take those types of comments to heart. I have a good life, I have a lovely house, a great family and support network, incredible friends and a husband who loves me. So no, "my ugliness" isn't going to make me want to kill someone thank you and no, I'm not going to give up on YouTube because I love making videos. And actually, I don't think I'm butt ugly. I may not be a super model but I'm not exactly horrendous either. My Mum's reaction was classic - "How can you be butt ugly when your my beautiful daughter?". Got to love Mums.
What worries me is how someone who wasn't in my position would take a comment like that. People don't think about the consequences of what they say and the knock on affect it will have. And I've seen this particular person saying other things on other channels as well so I know this was not a one off. What happens when someone posts something like this to a young girl? A teenager who hasn't built up her confidence yet? Or even a woman who struggles with insecurities. Or someone who doesn't. I didn't exactly cry over this comment, but it didn't exactly brighten my mood either. It does knock your confidence, no matter how thick your skin might be.
It's never okay to personally attack someone like this, whether you know them or not. It is never okay to insult them, bully them. So why has it become okay that Twitter and Blogging has become that kind of community in some cases? Why has it become the "norm" for people to get hate. If you don't like what someone says, writes or you don't like their content - don't follow them. If you don't like how someone looks - don't hide behind a computer screen and attack them. Don't attack them at all. And this is the same for any community or situation, whether you're at school, work, a club or online.
I feel sorry for people who feel the need to do that. Who want to sit and criticise others, insult them for the sake of it. Because there is no purpose in doing so - no gain to be had - no outcome that will make anyone happy. As my Mum said, "poor sad individual". I for one am going to work hard to be more positive in the online community, post more positive comments on content I love and can see people have worked hard on, build people up on social media and make someone's day. What is this hate going to make of me? It's going to make me a more positive, supportive person.
Much love, Lisa May x
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